When one reaches orgasm, one usually has gasping uncontrolled movements, or a sense of suspension which are nonverbal communications to the partner that one has had an orgasm. It is usually accompanied by vaginal contractions in female and the visible associate of ejaculation in males. Later, after completion of the sex act, one appears calm and physically satisfied. The signs of having had an orgasm are quite fleeting. The best way is to ask the partner.

Is it normal to reach orgasm by clitoral stimulation?

Absolutely. There are women who are unable to reach climax by vaginal intercourse alone. Climaxing by clitoral stimulation is in no way inferior.

Are different erogenous zones important?

Yes. One need not reach orgasm by genital stimulation alone. One may stimulate any erogenous zone to the point of orgasm.’What is important is the end and not the means to the end’.

What are the common sexual misconceptions prevalent among the middle aged men and women?

Men harbour the misconception that increasing age and excessive use may lead to weakening of the genitals and end in ‘seminal bankruptcy’. Because of this misguided belief, they observe sexual abstinence. One should remember that it is disuse which leads to atrophy and not the use. As a man grows older, he walks slow, he talks slow but he expects that his erection should not be slow! One needs to remember that this is a normal phenomenon.

Impression that “one failure in making it means an end to sex life”. As a result, many men move from effective sexual functioning to various degrees of impotence. I always emphasize that occasional failures are common and failure does not mean an end. Women harbour the misconception that menopause marks the end of sex life. Menopause merely marks the end of a woman’s reproductive career and not the conjugal career which can continue upto the end of one’s biological life. In fact, the maturity of the partner’s end the relationship, alongwith guaranteed natural contraception may enhance the sex life. The misconception that “sex after 60 is not possible” needs to be changed. Men and women can continue to remain sexually active till the last day of their lives provided they are in sound physical and mental health.

What physical changes occur when a person grows older?

As a man grows older, erection takes a longer time to occur. Similarly, in women, lubrication takes a longer time to occur. A man may often require direct physical stimulation to achieve erection and the same is also true of a woman’s lubrication. The colour of the semen changes from white to light yellow, the consistency gets thinner and the quantity decreases. When, people are not informed about these facts, anxiety can be generated, as there is a vast discrepancy between the unrealistic expectations and the real experience. This paralyses the sexual response leading to avoidance of sexual overtures. Older persons tend to become obese because of sedentary lives, lack of exercise and changes in hormonal levels. Exercises for toning up the muscles and good functioning of the body, are essential. All these help in improving the self-image and making a better sex life.